[Brandon Pomeroy]

A TNR patter...

Take out your card, have someone sign it on the face. Start by folding the card into fourths. Once card is in fourths, explain that "World war 1 is sometimes referred to as a giant family feud. This is because in England, George the fifth [rip off the first corner now], was king. he was a related by marriage to Kaiser Wilhelm II, [rip off second corner] who controlled Germany. There was also Tsar Nicholas III [rip of third corner], who controlled Russia, in the family. They all were Queen Victoria's [display last corner] grandchildren.
Now, as some people know, Russia and Germany were one opposite sides of the war [pause a moment to connect the proper corners to the last corner's torn sides]. Later, as if that wasn't enough, England joined the war, allied with Russia, going against Germany [Connect the last corner]."
*Pause, let the effect sink in*
"Now, some of you may be thinking, 'but that's only 3 countries in the war, weren't there more?', and you'd be absolutely right. There were a number of other countries in the war. [place the restored card back in the deck, shuffle a bit, place deck in a paper bag]. Everyone was affected by the Great war [shake the bag around], but it hurt the three original countries most. [Pull out a knife, stab through the bag, and show that you've stabbed through the restored card]"

Take your applause!



And for the sake of submitting two:
For the "Adults-only Illusion; aka the TNR Penis.", created by Mi5terScratch.

Walk up to someone, preferably one whom you are very friendly with. Say:
"You know what I hate? When you see someone that is SO FREAKING HOT that when you start to masturbate (Whip out your "gimmick" now), you go so fast that suddenly..." (Now's when the actual effect happens, the ripping off of the penis). No matter what their reaction is (shock, disgust, screaming), say calmly "I know, seriously! But, you know, (Don't look at them while you say this part, put the gimmick back in your zipper and focus on your crotch, as if what's happening isn't all that important), whatever. It happens, am I right?" (Say that last line with a COMPLETELY straight face, as if you were confirming that it was 10.30 in the morning.) Now you can just walk away.

I want to use this patter SO badly, but I don't have many people to show that kind of trick to. And the ones that I do have live in either Norway, Ireland, Spain, or Alaska.